welcome to my blog!
this is where i dump all the thoughts swirling around in my brain.
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I Can't Stop Crafting So Now You Have to Hear About It!!!
All of my freetime the last few weeks has been either sewing, reading, baking, or crocheting (with a little gardening in between). My mom, soon-to-be MIL, and fiance all have listened to my excited rants but now I must rant to the void so their poor ears can catch a break.
Now that I have a working sewing machine, I have been an unstoppable force. I created a sewing skill tree based off of From Carly B on YT's suggestions of how to improve your sewing. I have a spreadsheet where I've been tracking my progress and making notes. I've made 'The Wiggle' by Carmen Christine THREE times so far. I ended up adapting it to have a ribbon tie instead of a plastic headband because I couldn't find the correct width of headband and also the bands always pinch my head. 
The next tier on my skill tree is the Audrey Hood (aka a snood) from Merchant and Mills. I struggled some with the minimal and British instructions (I bought waaay too much fabric.) I really wanted to use corduroy for this but after looking at four different stores in-person then trying online only to discover its very expensive, I switched to double gauze which I ended up really liking the drape of. I also found an incredible woven cotton thats gingham and checkers mixed together. The whole color palette was inspired by what I thought would contrast the best with my blue winter coat. I've been told I have Coraline vibes when I'm in my coat so I thought the yellow and blue combo would fit that vibe. 
I'm really happy with how this turned out, it just feels so high quality compared to a similar item if I had tried to buy it.
I've been reading a lot of non-fiction books namely, Half-Arsed Human by Leena Norms and How to Resist Amazon and Why by Danny Caine. Danny has been raising my blood pressure as I learn about how horrible Amazon is (and everything it affects) and Leena has been bringing me back down by reminding me that doing my best is enough.
I made the NYT Plum Torte in honor of it officially being fall and I also made 3 dozen cookies for a bake sale event. My shortbread cookies were kind of boring visually, but they were a solid cookie.
Years ago, I had started to crochet a sweater only to realize I did not have enough yarn and I couldn't find the yarn anymore. That half-down sweater has been patiently waiting (over two different moves) until I finally decided to frog it and turn it into a sweater vest. I think I will have just enough yarn for the pattern I found, but I have some cream yarn that I can use for the neckline and bottom hem if needed. I've never done a pattern that requires alternating different needles but it wasn't actually that difficult. I'm almost done with the front panel. Pics when its (hopefully) done.
Fall gardening maybe isn't the most exciting. Cutting back the peonies and rhubarb. Still harvesting tomatoes and peppers. I've planted my mums and ornamental cabbage in the front garden bed and I'm trying out some Never-Dies in my swan planter. This is the perfect time of year to plant shrubs so I picked up two that I am planning on planting tomorrow after work. They can get pretty big so I needed to move some things aroung to fit them where I imagined.
Craft Room Refresh
Sometimes when I daydream about the perfect job I think about how cool it would be to work in the Bureau of Home Economics. A now defunct US government department that focused on collected data and shared information on nutrition, shared sewing patterns and developed 'step-saving' layouts for kitchens. Neat, right?
I've been spending more time trying to level up my sewing. (I even made a skill tree) I know the basics but I want to be able to get creative with my clothes in a way that store bought just can't provide. My sewing room is a tiny room on the back of my house that was once a back porch before being converted into an interior room. It gets a ton of light and doesn't have great insulation so my plants also thrive in that space. In theory its a super happy space full of creative possiblitys. In reality? I tend to put things in there to 'work on later' or just so they aren't in the guestroom when guests come to visit. But because I've been spending more time in the space, I decided to take some time to clean, declutter and create the perfect 'step-saving' layout for my sewing nook.
Peep my paternal grandmother's sewing machine (ya know, the broken one?) on the floor and my maternal grandmother's set into the sewing table so I can finally resume my crafting. You might also notice the jungle of plants right next to where I sit. It kind of felt like they were trying to constantly grab me while I worked which wasn't ideal. Also, the table is completely full of plants, craft material, and random items that have no business being in this room taking up space (like my 50 States Quarters). Yeah, she needed a makeover.
I sorted through everything, found a lot of items a new home, like the books going on an actual bookshelf, and my ceramic duck collection going into the hutch so they can be properly displayed. In the adjoining guestroom, I have a trundle bed with drawers underneath, one stores all of our jackets and winter coats, the other is now the proud location for all my fabrics, patterns, and craft supplies. The one exception is the giant bag of yarn, which lives in my attic, becaus there is just too much. My current crochet project is stored in a totebag I carry around the house, and all of my extra hooks, and markers went inside this little yarn boat that my grandpa made for my grandma so her yarn wouldn't barf so easily. I tend to crochet on the go so it doesn't fit my needs, but its so cute, I just love looking at it. I was shocked to discover the canvas box 'dedicated' to my to mend pile, actually had a bunch of unrelated fabrics, and halfbaked craft ideas making it overflow. I actually only have two items to mend. My favorite pair of jeans, and a scarf that unravelled in the wash. Waaaay more manageable.
It turns out I didn't need to start from scratch when designing a sewing station. It's already been created with The Triangle. Basically, you should have you flat workspace, sewing machine, and ironing board arranged so that you just have to pivot from one spot to reach each area, that reduces the constant up and down so you actually press all the seams like you are supposed to. It also makes it easier to transition from cutting fabric to sewing right on the machine. My work table also has a little shelf underneath which is perfect for storing my 'on-deck' project that I am planning to do next and the spools of thread I am currently working with.
As I am working on my 12(!) placemats for Thanksgiving, I have discovered this layout has created a lovely assembly line. I assembly the placemats rights sides together and stabilizer on top, then pivot to the sewing machine to sew them together, then pivot back to the work table to snip excess fabric and turn right sides out, then pivot 180 to iron them flat, the pivot back to the sewing machine to make the borders. I also have the space to have my instructions displayed on my tablet so I am not constantly leaving the room to check out the instructions on the desktop (I refuse to print out instructions). My sewing box has a desigated space within arms reach and I have made the gleeful discovery that my plant light, seconds as a perfect work light. Vintage sewing machines have a cute light aimed at the needle and foot, but not the rest of the work space. My one complaint is that currently I only have two outlets in this space so I have to unplug my sewing machine each time I need the iron, but that is probably protecting me from leaving the iron on and burning my house down so it might not be a bad thing.
The cats absolutely love this space too. Artemis unfortunately likes to mess with plants, so I can't leave her alone in the room, but she likes to sit on the ironing board or curl up in the mending box. Penelope will claim any flat fabric following the cat rule of 'if I fits, I sits.' Jimi usually just lays out on the floor. Apollo (not a cat but very similar) likes to lay underneath my chair and Ajax actually doesn't like this room because its too small for him so he lays just on the other side of the door keeping guard.
It's still a teeny tiny space (good thing I'm not a quilter) but it gives me the same feeling a weighted blanket does, calming me down after a stressful day (week, year, decade) and allowing my brain to focus on the task at hand for a little while.
lamenting a broken sewing machine
i've mentioned my antique sewing machine here before. it was my paternal grandmother's and is very similar to my own mom's sewing machine that i learned to sew on. last year i used it to create table settings for christmas and it was so satisfying to create exactly what i invisioned in my head. this year, i am hosting thanksgiving and i am again creating my own table settings. but this year, i have run into a problem. my sewing machine has gone wonky...
my grandmothers (on both sides) relied on their sewing machines and used them almost daily when they were raising my parents. my mom grew up wearing clothes made from scratch and my paternal grandmother was a quilter. so growing up, i knew how important frequent servicing of your machine is. the issue in the modern era is that there are not a lot of Singer servicers around any more. for years, my dad has maintained my mom's machine, my materal grandmothers, and mine.
over the summer, i noticed my machine was starting to act funny. the top stitches would look fine, but then the backside was a hot mess. it wasn't all the time, but i never knew when it would start messing up so i haven't finished a project since it began. i tried adjusting the tension (even the bobbin tension) but it still was happening. i dug up a manual online and tried doing some troubleshooting. i adjsuted the foot pressure. made sure i was using quality thread (my machine hates polyester thread). but it still is being funny.
my dad drove the 6 hour round trip to try and help. he oiled everything, and made sure there wasn't any lint trapped in the inner workings. still wonky stitches. right now, the top thread won't stay at all. as soon as i try to remove a piece and trim the threads it pulls the top stitch straight out. i called my mom, frustrated. she told me what i probably already knew. i need to find a sewing machine repair shop.
my research shows that the closest repair shop is an hour away. BUT there is a quilting shop in the next town over so i might be able to take it there or maybe they could tell me some in the area. living in a rural area, a lot of handy repair people tend to be word of mouth but they are often will make monthly runs to other areas in the state so that people can get help. (that's how the knife sharpener in my area works.)
in the mean time, i am trying to figure out how i am going to get this project done. i can stall a little bit, but making sure all my fabric is pretreated, and cut everything out before i start, but i know how long it takes me to make placemats, napkins, and napkin holders. so i need to get started this month. i've started asking around to see if i could borrow someone else's machine. L's grandma and my maternal grandmother both have machines i might be able to use, but i'll have to figure out how to get them (both are 3 hrs away)
i recognize this is not a huge issue but i've loved being able to create my own homegoods and clothing so suddenly losing that ability has been really frustrating. crafting has been a stress-reliever for me over the last year and it feels radical in a time where we overconsume.
basically, i miss my sewing machine
lost dogs and community outreach
i just experienced the scariest 12 hrs of my life to date. maybe you think that's hyperbole, or a first-world problem, but it feels valid to me.
last night i lost my dog, apollo.
spoiler warning, he's home safe now but it got me thinking about what support network and safe guards should one have in place for those events that you have no control over.
to set the scene, its friday night of labor day weekend. my fiance and i have floated a few ideas for the weekend but are both exhausted from work and ready for a relaxing break. its the first weekend in 3 weeks that we don't have to be anywhere. L picked up drinks and snacks on his way home from work. he dropped the bottle of wine while trying to open the backdoor and wrangle the dogs at the same time. miraculously, it didn't break.
i have two dogs. ajax, a 9 yr old bloodhound, and apollo, a 5 yr old mini poodle. they make for a funny pair but they are really close. apollo regularly sits between ajax's front feet and cuddles up. ajax is a typical older brother and likes to steal apollo's dinner if we aren't watching. they also have a rocky relationship with my fiance. ajax does not respect L's authority but loves to wrestle with him. apollo has revolted since L moved in and we stopped letting apollo sleep in the bed. too many monkeys in the bed. basically, i am their 'person', and L is not their dad.
ajax has only ran away once, when i was gone one weekend, and he only went a block down and we're pretty sure he was just following apollo. apollo has tried to run off four times. twice for L, once for my mom, and once from me. when he went through a phase where he would try to bolt out the front door. i could always call him back, but my mom and L would have to chase him down.
i have a fenced in yard with two gates. a large white vinyl gate facing the front yard, and a chainlink gate leading to the alley. last weekend, the front gate didn't get locked after mowing, and ajax pushed it open. ajax knew that i was in the house so he just hung out on the wrong side of the fence, until L went to let them in and realized. i told him we got lucky that apollo was too small to open the big gate.
back to last night, L fed them dinner and let them out around 9pm. he ended up falling asleep on the couch and i was working on the computer. when i signed off at 11pm and started to get ready for bed, i woke L and then went to let the dogs in. ajax came to the door, and was acting sheepish, with his head tucked. apollo did't come to the door, which is unusual because he usually hangs out on the deck and is the first one inside. i tried calling him but he didn't come or bark. we have a motion floodlight in the backyard and as i looked around i realize, the back gate was open. i yelled for L and started gathering shoes and my phone. L did the same. we ran out into the alley and started walking in the direction apollo and ajax had gone the time they had escaped last time. when i turned the flashlight on my phone on i realized i had a missed call and voicemail from 10:30pm. i listed to the voicemail and it was a guy saying he had found my dog about two blocks away and used the number on his dog tag to call me. i thought 'great! it was just a minor scare and we'll be way more careful with the gates from now on.' i called the guy and said 'hey, you have my dog?' he said that apollo had been there but not anymore. in my head i thought 'how the f did you get close enough to read his tag but couldn't grab him so he didn't run off?!' but what i said was 'okay, thanks anyways.' and L and i headed towards the street he said apollo was last seen on.
we walked around for about 15 minutes calling for him but no luck so we went back to the house and L got in his car to cover more ground and i went back out on foot with ajax. remember, ajax is a bloodhound so i was hoping he would catch his brother's scent and lead me to him. (he'd once alerted when i was having an allergic reaction before i even knew it) i figured between the treats in my pocket and ajax, apollo would come running out from under a porch or something.
it was past midnight when we had to admit we wouldn't find him in the dark. ajax was getting tired (he's older now) and i had a blister on my foot from throwing shoes on without socks. L called me and he'd come to the same conclusion. as i walked back to the house with ajax, i reinstalled facebook on my phone and posted a photo of apollo and his last whereabouts. my facebook is set to private but i set the post to public so people could share it and hopefully someone would respond.
i had kept it together so focused on the task at hand and filled with adrenaline, but as soon as i got back inside i broke down sobbing. i am not a crier but it was a tears and snot kind of crying. i felt so terrible that my rescue dog who i promised to take care of and love was lost somewhere and i had no idea how to find him or keep him safe. i cried so hard i threw up (tmi?) we turned on the porch light and put water bowls in the front and backyard. we left the back gate open in the hopes that maybe he would find his way back.
L tried to console me but i was too upset. i've always had big dogs and when they get out they know how to get home and i have never had to worry about predators, plus they are easy to spot. but a 12 lbs poodle? he has no sense of direct and he could get attacked by a coyote, bigger dog, even a tomcat. i was so scared that he might get hit by a car.
i cried myself to sleep, it felt so wrong sleeping in a warm bed when apollo was somewhere lost and scared. ajax couldn't settle either, he kept getting up and moving around the house like he knew something wasn't right.
we woke up as soon has the sun started to come up. L started out on foot but then came back and got on his bike so he could cover more ground. i got in my car with ajax and drove around going through alleys and calling for him. i'm sure i freaked people out as i drove at a snails pace yelling out the window. any time i say a dog run or heard barking i'd head that direction because apollo loves other dogs and i thought he'd be trying to make new friends.
at 8am, i called my vet office (closed for the holiday) and left a message. i texted anyone i knew in the area and asked that they keep an eye out. we went back to the house and i looked up how to contact animal control. my town doesn't have a dedicated department so i ended up calling the non-emergency number to report him lost. the lady took my information and when i described apollo, she said 'oh, that dog was seen near dollar general around 4am. they could get him but he was heading south.' L and i jumped in his car and headed that way.
for reference, dollar general is on the other side of town from us. right next to the highway. he would have had to cross at least two major roads to get there. the good news was that he was heading away from the highway and towards town into a housing division. i asked the workers at dollar general to please keep an eye out for him and to call me if someone reported seeing a dog running around. we drove around the housing division calling for him. we even stopped and asked people on the street to please keep an eye out for him. i wasn't even sure if the report was for apollo, it was just a dog fitting his description. small, white dog? pretty common.
it started to rain has we headed back to the house. i called my mom. she lives 3 hrs away so i knew she couldn't actually do anything to help but i needed her anyways. she already knew about apollo from my facebook post. she offered to drive the 3 hrs to help us look but i told her that wouldn't help because 3 people having no idea where to look wouldn't be any better than 2. i mostly needed her to tell me i did all the right things and have a good cry.
i had had my ringer on full volume since we discovered him missing. i gave my phone to L so i could take a shower. i knew a watched phone never rings but someone needed to be nearby in case someone called or responded to my facebook post.
in the shower, i made a plan for how to keep myself just busy enough to not be complete mess all day but also not so distracted i missed a call. i was going to station myself on the front porch and read, crochet, and make missing flyers all day. i got out of the shower and asked L to grab my camera from my car. its one of those kids cameras that prints photos on receipt paper. i was going to print off pictures of apollo and write my number on them to give to businesses and staple to telephone poles. as i was hunting for my sharpie pen, my phone rang.
i think i scared the guy calling because i answered with 'yes!?!' he said, 'uh, to whom am i speaking?' (i am always kind of terrible with phone etiquette but especially when panicky) i gave him my name and he said, 'yeah, we have a dog here. are you maybe looking for one?' i said, 'yes! he got out last night. where is he?' the guy told me he found apollo curled up on his porch and that apollo was currently trying to make friends with his dogs. he told me where he lived. i told him apollo is friendly and i would be there in 5 minutes. i yelled for L to start he car and i ran. as we drove we also saw the neighbor's dog, ruby, who likes to ignore her invisible fence and take herself on walks. her owners are okay with that, but i always tell her to go back home.
when we got to the house, i ran up their driveway. the guy's daughter was holding apollo and told me proudly she was the one to spot him. apollo was shaking as i took him in my arms. he was covered in burs and grass and his feet were all muddy. the guy said he understood how upsetting it is to lose a dog. we thanked him over and over then got back in the car to go home.
i called my mom first and told her the good news, then i updated my facebook post to say he was found and change the photo to his messy grass covered face. i texted everyone i had contacted and let them know he was found. some of them had apparently checked near dollar general too.
when we got home we reunited ajax and apollo then gave apollo a late breakfast. L gave apollo a bath and apollo had some crazy zoomies running all around the house until he finally fell asleep on his bed under the window.
we now have padlocks on the gates. we are pretty sure that the latch had not been fully latched and ajax nuzzled it open. ajax didn't have any interested in running off but apollo wandered away on his own. i've kept apollo close to me since we got home. he snuggled right up to me on the bed and slept for a few hours. i'm keeping an eye out to make sure he didn't get sick from eating something he shouldn't.
once the urgency went away and apollo was safe, i reflected on how i responded. ultimately, having a collar with dogtags that had his name and my number is what got him back to me. he is also microchipped, so i knew that if someone did catch him and brought him to the vet or police station they would have contacted me. it also made me feel pretty sure that he wouldn't be stolen. calling the city did help me get an idea of where he might be but obviously not his exact location. he was about a quarter of a mile from dollar general. facebook honestly, didn't do much help. sure some people shared it, but due to the algorithm and timing, by the time people were awake in the am (remember i posted after midnight) facebook probably buried it under AI slop and sponsored posts. the people i reached out to directly were great for moral support and i was touched that some even went to look themselves.
we are looking into getting a gps collars but most are a subscription. we can't use an airtag because we don't have iphones and the android versions don't work well in remote communities.
my take away from this is: make sure the gate is latched and the old school methods seem to work best. i am glad that my pets are all microchipped so we have that as a failsafe, but the old tags with a phone number got apollo back to me within 12 hrs instead of possibly waiting until vets opened on tuesday. i'm going to go cuddle my dog now
an update on making the internet a place again
one of my earliest blog posts was about how i miss when the internet was confined to the family computer in the living room and having the old internet experience. back in april, i purchased a desktop pc, but we didn't have a desk or monitor for it right away so we just hooked it up to the tv. for a while, this worked pretty well. i could sit on the couch while surfing the web. it wasn't perfect but it was working. until my fiance moved in and then it didn't work so well. my fiance and i like to parallel play games. if we're play our switches it works great, but i tend to be a pc gamer and he tends to be a playstation gamer. so having both pc and playstation hooked to the tv did not work great. i started playing my games on my laptop again, which then turned into watching youtube or tv on it again, and before i knew it the internet was no longer confined to a place. i was using the internet constantly but i wasn't using the desktop very much. L hardly used it at all.
this week two exciting things happened. 1. we finally ordered a monitor. and 2. we took an old computer desk off my parent's hands. it was my grandma's old computer desk, and i remember waiting on her to hangup the phone so i could work on school work because she had dialup internet. it also has a sticker that i stuck on it when i was like nine years old. its awesome. we're still working on decorating it. but it has a spot for all our cds, we got a Webkinz mousepad off eBay, and the cats already love sitting on top and staring down at what i am doing on the computer. our computer is now in its own dedicated space that is comfortable and functional. i'm not saying i'll completely give up my laptop or surface. both have practical applications but hopefully, i can be more intentional with my time engaging with the internet.
let's talk about the youtube age restriction thing
i don't use social media. i deleted instragram, tiktok, and i haven't touched twitter in years. the only reason i have facebook is for work. but i haven't been able to breakup with youtube. on one hand i hate it because its under the google umbrella so i know its goal is to sell my data and then sell ad space to try and feed into capitalism. on the other hand, i love watching videos of people making crafts, cooking, or a well-done video essay with incredible videography.
i've tried to limit my youtube. i only watch on my laptop. i have my subscription box bookedmarked so i always start with creators i follow. i actually watch my watch later playlist. i rarely second screen anymore, with the exception of some creators who do 'craft with me' style videos that i put on while working on projects. while i don't feel addicted to youtube i will openly admit i don't feel ready to give it up
then the youtube age restriction announcement came out. i first heard about how it was being implemented in the UK and at first i thought 'sure, protect the kids' but the more i thought about it the more disturbing it felt. no social media account should ever require your government issued idea. period.
the common rebuttle i've heard is that they already have so much of your information from storing (and selling) your data that its not that big of a deal. two things: 1. if they have all that information they already know i am an adult. 2. my coworkers have gleemed a lot of personal information about me from working together, but that doesn't mean i'd give them my passport or drivers license. and i'm willing to bet neither would most people.
its bitter sweet to say but i think youtube's decision to implement this tomorrow might be what finally gets me to log off youtube for good. my fiance and i have youtube premium. the minute they ask for age verification is the minute we will cancel our subscription and log off.
for me, i will be sad to leave the channels that i have grown to look forward to. some of them i had been following back on tiktok and i was so glad to find their longform (and for most better) content on youtube. i will also miss the resource of being able to search for how to thread the bobbin on my antique sewing machine and being able to find a video of my exact model on youtube.
but none of that is worth giving them my id. so i'll find other things to feel my freetime. my library has great movies and shows available. i can watch all of Julia Child's cooking show by using the hoopla service they offer. i donate to pbs and they have a really fabulous streaming service. or (hopefully) i'll feel even less inclined to look at screens and do something productive and fulfilling irl.
8.4.2025
oops i disappeared from the internet. or more accurately i intentionally logged off. Now I will be honest I still have my vices ie. youtube, pinterest and lately substack (which we'll get to) but i am happy to report that life without meta or tiktok is feeling pretty good. i stopped updating this blog for a little bit because i have been struggling with whether or not my writing should be seen by others or rather why do i feel like i need to share my writing with others. why can't i keep my thoughts to myself or just share them with the people in my life?
enter substack. i had started to hear about substack right before the first tiktok ban. a lot of creators were directing their american followers to follow them on there. i did not check it out then because i saw the ban as an easy cold-turkey exit from tiktok and did not want to replace the void with another app. i eventually decided to check it out when i realized that a lot of my favorite chefs on youtube post more frequently on substack and i love cooking newsletters (i still get a physical copy of bon appetit each month.) so i signed up for a couple newsletters and enjoyed reading them in my email. eventually i realized there was a mobile app (because of course there is) and i downloaded it. note here, i have very few apps on my phone but over the summer i downloaded pinterest again because i use it for reference photos and crochet patterns. i thought i could handle substack because initially it was all pretty pictures and people sharing their recipes. it reminded me a lot of tumblr circa 2014. but then as i read more articles i realized how many were opinions pretending to be facts, over-consumption and beauty standards discussed as self-help, and most iritatingly of all? ai slop. i started doubting every article i read if it used an mdash which i had never heard of up to that point. i started thinking critically about the articles not because they were thought provoking but because so much of it was just bullshit pretending to be fact. it wasn't fun, it was exhausting. but i felt that doomscroll itch and even bigger that need to share with others. so i wrote a few drafts that i would stop halfway through because i would ask myself "who cares?" or "how is the contributing to anything?" i realize now that that was also self-depricating. finally i published a few posts about my cooking because it is my favorite hobby and i'm quite proud of my cooking. i didn't get that urge to constantly check the engagement, i just put them out there and let them lie. then another substacker shared an article about substack allowing and then promoting neo-n*zis on their site. immediately i lost interest in substack. i remember twitter right before it became x, i've seen what the wrong side of tiktok and facebook look like and i had no interest in being a part of a site that allows (and benefits) from hate speech. i've deleted my posts on substack and left a note explaining why i left. will it do anything? probably not but it felt right.
which brings me to my new term of the week: POSSE. basically the idea is that you post links to your own site and posts instead of sharing your photos and posts on a social media platform. its a compromise so that your grandma still sees your vacation pictures but meta can't use those pictures for data mining or ai training. i'm still working out how it is implimented but i am definitely intrigued. for now i will keep throwing my thoughts out on this blog just in case anyone throws something back ;)
4.24.2025
do you believe in karma? ive never really thought about it much, but yesterday i was reminded that puttting good things out into the world means one day good things will come back your way.
i went on another bike ride today and maybe its because i remembered to stretch or maybe its because i put air in my tires but it felt easier! i definitely need to start planning my routes instead of just biking until i hit my distance goal.
i'm making my fiance's favorite dish tonight. its a classic italian pasta with a spicy pancetta and tomato sauce. we have a running joke that i won't tell him what its called because i don't want him to get it from anywhere else.
4.23.2025
have i done any reading today? no. but in my defense, it hasn't rained either. i did take a lovely nap...
i spent most of the day researching pc builds. my current laptop is about 10 years old now and while it was pretty impressive when i first got it. now its showing its age. newer games either run on the lowest resolution or don't run at all. i've already decided that if i ever got a new computer it would be a desktop. this video perfectly explains my feelings on the internet lately. i want the internet to be a 'place' again and as my fiance put it 'a family computer' is pretty serious stuff.
i was still productive today! i almost forgot today was trash day because easter monday threw my days off, but i realized before the trash truck came so yay! i also did some weeding in the back garden. do you know the cheapest easiest way to kill weeds in cracks and in nooks that plants should never grow? boiling water! seriously, pop a kettle on the stove and once it whistles pour it on whatever plant you want to kill (for me its the bindweed) and enjoy the sizzling sound and the boiled greens smell.
i also have been exploring instant camera formats. i am lucky enough to have my grandparents Polaroid 600 from the 90s. they bought it to document their grandbabies growing up (my brother and i) and thankfully it still works great! the film is pretty pricy and you only get 8 photos per pack so you really have be sure you want a picture of your subject and pray it doesn't come out blurry. my white dog and cat are both difficult to photograph because the flash makes them overexposed.
i also picked up a kid camera that prints black and white photos on receipt paper. it is super cheap 'film' so i don't feel as bad when the photo comes out funky. they are grainy and low contrast, but so fun! i also, also have a kodak digicam to experiment with. it connects to a printer that prints the photos in photo paper kind of like what you would get when you to film to walgreens to be developed. do you remember doing that? i loved doing that with my disposible cameras after summer camp.
i have been testing out href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/matty-matheson-soups-salads-sandwiches-a-cookbook-matty-matheson/21171763?ean=9781984862150&next=t"> Matty Matheson's new cookbook and so far i have been loving the salad section. the sandwiches are suprisingly intimidating because they are more involved than slapping deli meat and deli cheese on two slices on precut bread.
anyways, im going to go play the sims for waaay to long!
4.22.2025
the sun finally poked its head out and it was such a nice day! my hot tub is all set up for a season full of margarites, cookouts, and late night chats. i tentatively agreed to a bike camping trip with my fiance and brother in the fall. its 12 miles to the campsite, then 12 miles back the next day. i mostly agreed because of fomo and i wanted to get in better shape before the wedding. today, i rode 2 miles and i felt pretty good! i forgot to check the air in my tires before i took off, so that made it a little harder than necessary. :/
i have tomorrow off and its supposed to be stormy, so im hoping to get some reading done. i need to run to the library and get some more movies to watch this weekend. i also need to clean my house :p
4.19.2025
never start a cheesecake at 8 oclock at night. its not that its difficult, its that it guarntees you will have to stay awake for 2 extra hours. also, dont stay in a house that has no backyard if you have dogs with you, especially if its forcasted to rain the whole weekend. also, after 20, avoid sleeping on a mattress on the floor. your bones will thank you for it. also, go play cards with your grandma. you won't win but you will definitely have a fun time.
my fiance and i went shopping today and we made a list that we had to (mostly) stick to. I wanted headphones, a book Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep, and he wanted cds of three specific artists, wired earbuds, and a fanny pack. i found my two items, plus a Blues Travelers CD and a collectors edition of original The Planet of the Apes movies. He found wired earbuds, but nothing else on his list. one of us clear stuck to the list better than the other. we also went to a new Barnes and Noble, i hate the 'new' layout of the stores. yes, it felt like there was more in the store, but i couldn't find anything very easily and you had to walk past a bunch of extra junk to get to the books, music, and movies. i really like the collectors editions of the A24 films. i am very tempted to get a few of my favorite
4.16.2025
i am exhausted. like dead tired, could sleep for a week tired. 13 hr day mostly on my feet. no time to make real food (thank you leftovers) no naptime, and no down time. i wanted to pack for easter weekend but i didn't have the time today, so i will just have to hurry and pack right after work.
too tired to write anything else. peace out, girl scout.
4.15.2025
i made salsa verde chicken last night and it was so good ive had it for lunch and dinner. ive been sick the last two days and im honestly dreading work tomorrow. i feel like a have to play catch up which makes me a little panicky. but i know the best way to get over that feeling is rip the bandaid off tomorrow and work!
my latest favorite third place has been my local library. what have a been checking out the most you ask? movies! okay, yes, ive been checking out books too but books take me longer to get through and i can check them out for a month. movies i can consume in an evening and they are due after only a week. ive also been getting some cds but they dont have a huge selection there. im hoping that if i keep checking out music, theyll take the hint and get more.
the whole reason i started going to the library so much is because i am making an effort to engage with my local community. my hope is that active civic engagement will grow the resouces and events in my community so that this is a place i am proud to live. each week, i pick one or two local third places that i want to support and i go out and support them. ive been going to my locally owned coffee shop more, i get my breakfast sandwiches from a local shop, and im trying to buy local and inseason produce at the grocery store. i dont know if it will make a noticable difference, but it feels nice and i already get so much out of it. i even found an egg plug! whats an egg plug? a friend who has chickens and is more than happy to sell them for less than the grocery store does.
on a bummer, my favorite subscription box Cooking with Bon Appetit is being discontinued. my fiance and i have been loving this box because it can be difficult to find good quality unique ingredients (like harissa) and i love making the fancy flavorful dishes with him. it also gave me access to Bon Appetit and Epicurious which i have been coming to rely on when i need a great recipe for an unusal ingregient (like preserved lemons). if anyone out there knows of a similar subscription let an online stranger know!
each week i document our week in cooking. think of it like a menu plan. i usually link the source of our recipes so feel free to cook along!
my fiance and i love to cook. a year ago i bought my first home and the kitchen was a huge factor in my decision (plus my house is bright yellow!.) each week my fiance and i sit down and plan what we are going to cook each week. we each are in charge of 3 meals. we usually cook but sometimes we go out for date night or order take out when we are too tired to cook.
what I cook when alone
One of the things that L and I had to adjust to when we started living together was coordinating meals. We both are happy to cook so dividing up weeknight dinners was pretty easy. I did have to learn to double the amount I cook so that L had enough to eat and we still have leftovers for lunches. L had to learn that my portions are not the same size as his so my tupperware lunches shouldn't be heaping. The hardest lesson was learning what the other person doesn't like.
I'd like to think it was super easy for L to learn what I don't like, but in all honesty it's probably very difficult. It's not so much that I don't like something, its that I don't like it right this moment, or the texture seems wrong for what I am craving. I once had a kitchen floor cry because there wasn't anything in the house that was salty and crunchy. I only want one pasta dish a week, tops. If we don't plan an asian or latin dish for the week, it feels incomplete. Sometimes, I will just inexplicably become disgusted in eggs or rice, usually when I am right in the middle of eating it. I do hate thyme and dried rosemary. maybe if it was possible to ground it into a fine powder, I could learn to like rosemary, but thyme is always, always bad. Bananas are also an absolute no from me. Texture, smell, flavor are all gross to me, but I do love a fried plantain so someone please explain that.
L's dislikes are easier to define. He hates olives, high acidity, and sweet foods. When I am cooking for us both, I've learned to put the olives on the side, swap red wine vinegar for champagne vinegar, and any sweetening element needs to be greatly reduced or omitted. As someone who tries to strictly follow the teachings of Salt, Fat, Heat, and Acid, this can be frustrating but I was vegetarian for 8 years and am fully capable of adapting recipes for personal tastes.
however, on the rare occassion L is gone for dinner and its just me to worry about, I have a few recipes I have saved for the occassion. Recently, L was out of town and so I picked a Bon Appetit recipe that used olives, white wine vinegar soaked croutons, and red grapes all roasted with chicken. As I watched Pride and Prejudice (never seen it before but loved it) and dug into my sweet, briny, and acidic meal, I was tickled by how delicious it was and also said to myself 'yeah, L would hate this dish.' When I put away the leftovers, I put the chicken in a separate container so L could eat that and I had the veg all for myself.
While I am never wishing for L to have to be gone, I do already have my mom's crockpot peanut butter chicken saved for the next time I have to have dinner by myself.
what we're cooking every week(ish)
for this week, i thought i would shake things up a bit. instead of telling you what i'm cooking this week, i thought i'd share what staples i routinely make so that i never run out. none of these are really a weekly thing. most are every other week or monthly.
creme fraiche
i used to avoid recipes that called for creme fraiche because i could never find it in grocery stores. little did i know you could make it at home! the first time you make it you'll take 1C heavy cream to 1T buttermilk and combine them in a clean container with a lid. Then loosely cover and place it on your counter (or in a cabinet if you have nosy pets.) leave it alone for a day, i set a reminder so i don't forget about it. it'll keep for about 2 weeks in the fridge. when its time to make more just replace the buttermilk with a T of your creme fraiche.
i use this instead of sour cream. i've also used it as a substitue for greek yogurt but it is a thinner consistency. i usually only make a half recipe because its mostly a topping in this house. when i bake with it i can easily whip up a bigger batch. my first crowd pleaser at a potluck was a toasted baguette topped with an apple slice and sweetened creme fraiche. i had a coworker flag me down so he could take extra home.
mayonnaise
i've had enough cookbooks tell me how easy and worth it it is to make your own mayonnaise. While i still enjoy dukes mayo, homemade mayo is really delicious. the key is patience. don't try to find a shortcut, you'll spend more time (and dishes!) trying to fix your mayo than if you'd just followed the directions in the first place. I usually use Sohla El-Waylly's recipe because the mustard and lemon juice really give it that delicious mayo-iness. also, very important don't use EVOO its a waste of oil because the olive oil overpowers everything else so you mayo just tastes like a spoonful of oil. any neutral oil is good. my last batch used locally made sunflower oil which gave it a beautiful color. i also wait until may emulsion has come together and all the oil is incorporated because i had the cold water.
i mostly use mayo for salad dressings. a lot of cookbooks will have you make what is basically a seasoned mayo as a dressing. i almost always take my homemade mayo and just added the seasonings instead of using 1/2 a cup of oil everytime i make a salad.
sourdough + discard
this isn't just one recipe but a launch point for a whole category of recipes i make every weekend or so. my sourdough (named Pilsbury) is thriving. i feed him once a week and keep him in the fridge unless i know i need active starter. i change the amount i keep around but lately 90gs per component is my preferred so i have more discard. i've even shared my starter with family. hopefully Pilsbury Jr. is thriving with my mom.
for active starter recipes, i mostly stick to basic loafs. my best loaf was a potato sandwich loaf that felt like a cloud. i have a small dutch oven so my loaves are only 6-in in diameter, which is just about perfect for my fiance and i. i invested in a bowsaw knife so that my slices are more even (gamechanger!)
discard recipes are my real favorite for sourdough. i started with discard crackers which taste like a cheezit even without cheese added. my fiance likes everything-but-the-bagel seasoning on top and i just like flaky sea salt so i do half and half when i make a batch. they last about a week and taste great paired with cheese
i also love sourdough discard waffles and tortillas. the waffles are the perfect balance between sweet and savory. i am dying to try them with chicken and waffles (fingers crossed i figure out a recipe to share with yall) and they are perfect for copy-cat scooters waffle breakfast sandwiches. just take a couple of waffles from the freezer, reheat them in the toaster and assemble with breakfast sausage, steamed egg patty, and cheese if you want it. super filling!
quick pickled or marinated vegetables
between the farmers market, and my own vegetable garden, this time of year i end up with so much produce that i don't have the heart to let go to waste but also don't have a big enough yield to justify full on canning (nor do i have the shelf space) so i like to make batches of fridge pickles or marinated veggies that with last anywhere from a week to a month.
my quick pickles are just cucumbers, a salt and sugar brine and then whatever seasonings call to me. my brother still talks about my italian herb pickles from 5 years ago. my last jar has homegrown dill and fresh fennel seed. garlic and chili flakes are also great additions. other veggies i've pickled include red onion and jalapenos.
my marinated veggies are more varied. during the summer i marinated fresh slide tomatoes in balsamic vinegar with basil and mozzarella pearls to make a caprese-esque salad that i can either put between two slices of toasted bread or just eat straight from the container. 
don't both making this in the winter it is just sad without the fresh tomatoes. this winter i am going to try out these roasted tomatoes and see how they compare.
another staple is some kind of asian cucumber salad. i've used matty mattheson's, i've used justine_cooks, i've even used that one guy on tiktoks. at this point i use whatever i have on hand. soy sauce, mirin, sesame oil, chili crisp, and MSG (duh) are pretty common. i also like to add kewpie mayo, some lime juice, and if i want some protein i'll mix it with packaged tuna right before serving.
green beans and asparagus marinated in EVOO with garlic, lemon zest and oodles of herbs is also a delicious side. it packs a lot of punch and uses up the spring veggies i've been hoarding in my freezer since last spring. the only downside is that they have to be used up in a week or else they go nasty. so if you make this, expect to eat it every day until its gone.
that's a summary of (some) of my staple recipes. if you liked this please let me know and i can share more!
what we're cooking this week 8.4.2025
this might be the last chance L and i have to cook fancy meals on weekdays as we are both heading back to work next week. i've been working halftime during the summer and L is currently doing onboarding for his new job. next week we are both fulltime five days a week so i expect lots of naps and quick meals. but this week is still open to fancy meals and too many leftovers.
Sunday - Nicoise Sandwiches
normally, our weekly menus start on monday, but we decided to get a head start so L could take leftovers for lunch. this nicoise recipe is basically fancy tuna salad sandwiches (which i ate a lot of as a kid). i bought croissants from the local bakery, made my own mayo, and sourced most of the veggies from our own garden. the only adjustment i made was leaving out the olives because L hates olives. I figured if i really missed them i could add them in on my own sandwich
Monday - Baked Ziti
we had blue cheese that needed to be used up so L made this delicious baked ziti that was super cream with three kinds of cheese and heavy cream. this recipe is from this cookbook which is our go to when we don't know what to make.
p.s. if i don't specify where a recipe is from it is almost always from this cookbook
Tuesday - Bacon Scallops and a Tomatoe/Corn Salad
i just got Wishbone Kitchen's new cookbook and i was eager to test it out. it has summer coastal vibes which is exactly what i want as i hold onto summer. L also really wanted something with scallops. we're a seafood family
the tomato/corn salad came together flawlessly. the tomatoes and corn both came from our local farmers market so they are peek freshness. i did not have chili-infused olive oil so i used dried aleppo pepper because i thought the spicy sweet taste would pair well with the sweet corn
the scallops didn't go as smoothly... it was mostly my fault. i picked bay scallops which are much smaller than sea scallops. they were also frozen because i live in a landlocked state. i started to thaw them first think in the morning because i thought an overnight thaw might make them go funky. instead they weren't completely thawed and held too much water so they could sear very good. i also browned the butter on accident so even the this dish was edible (and according to L very tasty) it didn't have the fresh bright vibes i was going for
Wednesday - Alfredo Tater Tot Casserole
i didn't really get why L was so excited to make this dish. we both grew up on casseroles but rarely cook them for ourselves. i've tried making tater tot casserole in the past and i was not a fan. but this casserole was delicious! another recipe from the Better Homes and Gardens cookbook so of course its a win. it uses jarred alfredo sauce, rotisserie chicken, and gouda cheese to make for a creamy sauce that goes so well with the crispy tater tots. its then topped with green onions and diced tomatoes.
L and i usually sit at the dinning room table for dinner but tonight we opted to watch The Sopranos while we ate
Thursday - Egg Drop Soup
L works late tonight so we needed a quick dinner that i can throw together when he gets home. i'm currently working through the temperature control chaper of Sohla El-Waylly's cookbook and L is loving it because he. loves. eggs.. its not really "soup weather" but we love soup in this house so all weather is soup weather. i might also make some corn on the cob because i have two ears that we need to use up
Friday - Day Night 
we have to pickup our CSA this week so that means date night! i planned our last date night so its L's turn and he likes to keep it a surprise. as long as we get food i will be happy lol
i do know we are going to do some shopping for work clothes for L and i need to swing by ulta to get more lipgloss
Saturday - Who Knows!
we have some wedding planning appointments on saturday which means a 2 hr drive to get to the big city. one of those appointments is charcuterie tasting so thats good. we will definitely be eating out for dinner so we have the energy for the long drive home.
what we're cooking this week 7.28.2025
My fiance lovingly refers to our weekly meal planning as ‘consulting the tomes’ because I have a tendency to pull out all my cookbooks and have several tabs open to Bon Appetit and NYT Cooking. I usually cover dining table or sit on the living room carpet with all the books open in front of me.
A few days ago I decided it was time to start a freezer and fridge clean out so I wrote out a inventory of our two freezers and fridge. In my mind its like a game, for every ingredient we need to use up I get a point. Seasonal food and using what we have definitely drives my meal planning.
This also led to a deep clean of my cookbook shelf, a reset of our fridge calendar and some how I made creme fraiche, mayo, and quick pickles because my kitchen is a slippery slope.
Monday - Boyfriend Salmon and A Chopped Salad
I tease my fiance that he missed out of boyfriend salmon because I didn’t discover it until after we got engaged, but I’ve been craving salmon and Justine’s recipes are divine so he’s in luck.
Our CSA last week included a lot of salady things, (ie butter lettuce and kale) so I am using Julia Turshen's formula for a chopped salad to use up some of those tasty fresh veggies. Also her mustard vinaigrette is my go-to salad dressing.
Tuesday - Grill Day #1
This is the last week of summer break for L and I (#teacherlife) and we are trying to pack as much summer into this week as we possibly can. That means lots of evenings grilling and relaxing in the hot tub.
L is planning on grilling burgers (his grandpa’s recipe) and jalapeno poppers. Our garden is producing fantastic jalapenos but they are smaller so we had to pick some big ones up from the store for stuffing.
P.S. A hot tub is a lot like a boat. I probably spend more time taking care of the tub than I do sitting in it but I still love it.
Wednesday - Stir-Fry
Heavily inspired by the Bon Appetit 56 Basil Chicken Stir-Fry but tweaked to use up shishito peppers, our homegrown basil, and ground turkey.
For some reason we can never reliably find ground chicken at the grocery store in town. I usually substitute turkey or pork depending on what I am feeling that week.
Fun fact about the peppers, when we were at the farmers’ market a farmer ended up just giving us the peppers because he was so desperate to be ride of them He “picks them in the hundreds” and just wanted to let us try them out.
Thursday - Grill Day #2
Remember how I said we are trying to jam-pack summer into this week? Yeah, welcome to grill day #2. Have you ever tried the American classic of putting a beer can up a whole chicken and grilling it? Neither have we but we can’t stop thinking about it.
We’ve talked about it so much that we have nicknamed it “butt chicken” which just sounds delicious right? L is doing a Cajun rub on the chicken and using a Modelo tallboy for the beer.
I also am making a tomato aguachile from Bon Appetit’s latest issue because our garden is exploding with tomatoes and I just can’t get enough of them.
Friday - The Best Pasta Ever
One of the first dishes I ever cooked for L was a pasta dish. He loved it so much and asked me what it was called. As a joke I told him I wouldn’t tell him because then he would go and make it for himself. The joke is still going and I still haven’t told him what the pasta is called. I even covered the title on the recipe card. L doesn’t use substack so I think its safe to tell you the dish is called Pasta Amatriciana.
I’ve cooked a ton of different versions of this and picked up parts I liked from each different recipe so its never exactly the same but the key components are the same. The bacon and pepper flakes are what makes this dish stand out for me.
This time I am using beautiful orange cherry tomatoes from our CSA and I am so excited to see how the sauce turns out color-wise.
Saturday - Baked Enchiladas
I told L I had a craving for tex-mex and this was what we settled on. Filled with chorizo and refried beans. Covered in a homemade enchilada sauce. I am super pumped!
Sunday - Fend for Ourselves
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