oops i disappeared from the internet. or more accurately i intentionally logged off. Now I will be honest I still have my vices ie. youtube, pinterest and lately substack (which we'll get to) but i am happy to report that life without meta or tiktok is feeling pretty good. i stopped updating this blog for a little bit because i have been struggling with whether or not my writing should be seen by others or rather why do i feel like i need to share my writing with others. why can't i keep my thoughts to myself or just share them with the people in my life?
enter substack. i had started to hear about substack right before the first tiktok ban. a lot of creators were directing their american followers to follow them on there. i did not check it out then because i saw the ban as an easy cold-turkey exit from tiktok and did not want to replace the void with another app. i eventually decided to check it out when i realized that a lot of my favorite chefs on youtube post more frequently on substack and i love cooking newsletters (i still get a physical copy of bon appetit each month.) so i signed up for a couple newsletters and enjoyed reading them in my email. eventually i realized there was a mobile app (because of course there is) and i downloaded it. note here, i have very few apps on my phone but over the summer i downloaded pinterest again because i use it for reference photos and crochet patterns. i thought i could handle substack because initially it was all pretty pictures and people sharing their recipes. it reminded me a lot of tumblr circa 2014. but then as i read more articles i realized how many were opinions pretending to be facts, over-consumption and beauty standards discussed as self-help, and most iritatingly of all? ai slop. i started doubting every article i read if it used an mdash which i had never heard of up to that point. i started thinking critically about the articles not because they were thought provoking but because so much of it was just bullshit pretending to be fact. it wasn't fun, it was exhausting. but i felt that doomscroll itch and even bigger that need to share with others. so i wrote a few drafts that i would stop halfway through because i would ask myself "who cares?" or "how is the contributing to anything?" i realize now that that was also self-depricating. finally i published a few posts about my cooking because it is my favorite hobby and i'm quite proud of my cooking. i didn't get that urge to constantly check the engagement, i just put them out there and let them lie. then another substacker shared an article about substack allowing and then promoting neo-n*zis on their site. immediately i lost interest in substack. i remember twitter right before it became x, i've seen what the wrong side of tiktok and facebook look like and i had no interest in being a part of a site that allows (and benefits) from hate speech. i've deleted my posts on substack and left a note explaining why i left. will it do anything? probably not but it felt right.
which brings me to my new term of the week: POSSE. basically the idea is that you post links to your own site and posts instead of sharing your photos and posts on a social media platform. its a compromise so that your grandma still sees your vacation pictures but meta can't use those pictures for data mining or ai training. i'm still working out how it is implimented but i am definitely intrigued. for now i will keep throwing my thoughts out on this blog just in case anyone throws something back ;)
do you believe in karma? ive never really thought about it much, but yesterday i was reminded that puttting good things out into the world means one day good things will come back your way.
i went on another bike ride today and maybe its because i remembered to stretch or maybe its because i put air in my tires but it felt easier! i definitely need to start planning my routes instead of just biking until i hit my distance goal.
i'm making my fiance's favorite dish tonight. its a classic italian pasta with a spicy pancetta and tomato sauce. we have a running joke that i won't tell him what its called because i don't want him to get it from anywhere else.
have i done any reading today? no. but in my defense, it hasn't rained either. i did take a lovely nap...
i spent most of the day researching pc builds. my current laptop is about 10 years old now and while it was pretty impressive when i first got it. now its showing its age. newer games either run on the lowest resolution or don't run at all. i've already decided that if i ever got a new computer it would be a desktop. this video perfectly explains my feelings on the internet lately. i want the internet to be a 'place' again and as my fiance put it 'a family computer' is pretty serious stuff.
i was still productive today! i almost forgot today was trash day because easter monday threw my days off, but i realized before the trash truck came so yay! i also did some weeding in the back garden. do you know the cheapest easiest way to kill weeds in cracks and in nooks that plants should never grow? boiling water! seriously, pop a kettle on the stove and once it whistles pour it on whatever plant you want to kill (for me its the bindweed) and enjoy the sizzling sound and the boiled greens smell.
i also have been exploring instant camera formats. i am lucky enough to have my grandparents Polaroid 600 from the 90s. they bought it to document their grandbabies growing up (my brother and i) and thankfully it still works great! the film is pretty pricy and you only get 8 photos per pack so you really have be sure you want a picture of your subject and pray it doesn't come out blurry. my white dog and cat are both difficult to photograph because the flash makes them overexposed.
i also picked up a kid camera that prints black and white photos on receipt paper. it is super cheap 'film' so i don't feel as bad when the photo comes out funky. they are grainy and low contrast, but so fun! i also, also have a kodak digicam to experiment with. it connects to a printer that prints the photos in photo paper kind of like what you would get when you to film to walgreens to be developed. do you remember doing that? i loved doing that with my disposible cameras after summer camp.
i have been testing out href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/matty-matheson-soups-salads-sandwiches-a-cookbook-matty-matheson/21171763?ean=9781984862150&next=t"> Matty Matheson's new cookbook and so far i have been loving the salad section. the sandwiches are suprisingly intimidating because they are more involved than slapping deli meat and deli cheese on two slices on precut bread.
anyways, im going to go play the sims for waaay to long!
the sun finally poked its head out and it was such a nice day! my hot tub is all set up for a season full of margarites, cookouts, and late night chats. i tentatively agreed to a bike camping trip with my fiance and brother in the fall. its 12 miles to the campsite, then 12 miles back the next day. i mostly agreed because of fomo and i wanted to get in better shape before the wedding. today, i rode 2 miles and i felt pretty good! i forgot to check the air in my tires before i took off, so that made it a little harder than necessary. :/
i have tomorrow off and its supposed to be stormy, so im hoping to get some reading done. i need to run to the library and get some more movies to watch this weekend. i also need to clean my house :p
never start a cheesecake at 8 oclock at night. its not that its difficult, its that it guarntees you will have to stay awake for 2 extra hours. also, dont stay in a house that has no backyard if you have dogs with you, especially if its forcasted to rain the whole weekend. also, after 20, avoid sleeping on a mattress on the floor. your bones will thank you for it. also, go play cards with your grandma. you won't win but you will definitely have a fun time.
my fiance and i went shopping today and we made a list that we had to (mostly) stick to. I wanted headphones, a book Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep, and he wanted cds of three specific artists, wired earbuds, and a fanny pack. i found my two items, plus a Blues Travelers CD and a collectors edition of original The Planet of the Apes movies. He found wired earbuds, but nothing else on his list. one of us clear stuck to the list better than the other. we also went to a new Barnes and Noble, i hate the 'new' layout of the stores. yes, it felt like there was more in the store, but i couldn't find anything very easily and you had to walk past a bunch of extra junk to get to the books, music, and movies. i really like the collectors editions of the A24 films. i am very tempted to get a few of my favorite
i am exhausted. like dead tired, could sleep for a week tired. 13 hr day mostly on my feet. no time to make real food (thank you leftovers) no naptime, and no down time. i wanted to pack for easter weekend but i didn't have the time today, so i will just have to hurry and pack right after work.
too tired to write anything else. peace out, girl scout.
i made salsa verde chicken last night and it was so good ive had it for lunch and dinner. ive been sick the last two days and im honestly dreading work tomorrow. i feel like a have to play catch up which makes me a little panicky. but i know the best way to get over that feeling is rip the bandaid off tomorrow and work!
my latest favorite third place has been my local library. what have a been checking out the most you ask? movies! okay, yes, ive been checking out books too but books take me longer to get through and i can check them out for a month. movies i can consume in an evening and they are due after only a week. ive also been getting some cds but they dont have a huge selection there. im hoping that if i keep checking out music, theyll take the hint and get more.
the whole reason i started going to the library so much is because i am making an effort to engage with my local community. my hope is that active civic engagement will grow the resouces and events in my community so that this is a place i am proud to live. each week, i pick one or two local third places that i want to support and i go out and support them. ive been going to my locally owned coffee shop more, i get my breakfast sandwiches from a local shop, and im trying to buy local and inseason produce at the grocery store. i dont know if it will make a noticable difference, but it feels nice and i already get so much out of it. i even found an egg plug! whats an egg plug? a friend who has chickens and is more than happy to sell them for less than the grocery store does.
on a bummer, my favorite subscription box Cooking with Bon Appetit is being discontinued. my fiance and i have been loving this box because it can be difficult to find good quality unique ingredients (like harissa) and i love making the fancy flavorful dishes with him. it also gave me access to Bon Appetit and Epicurious which i have been coming to rely on when i need a great recipe for an unusal ingregient (like preserved lemons). if anyone out there knows of a similar subscription let an online stranger know!